HOW A CHILD INSPIRES ME - My 30 Minutes Ride (Sept 27,2011)

A dramatic experience:

I was having my ride to attend a one hour class, just before I went to school I feel lazy due to cold of the rain, I haven’t ate my breakfast and my lunch for I was feeling so numb these last few days, a typical silence of persona makes me weak.

As I was waiting to get to school on my jeepney ride, I saw a little boy with his mother and a wheel chair besides them; he can’t walk, can’t talk and was very dependable to her mom. I was so conscious as if my heart was melting seeing that boy with such kind of condition. Then a plastic was place on his mouth and swallowing all the food he have eaten. I looked at him taking a sigh not to offend him by looking a pity eyes on him (his situation reflects on me really).

Looking at him from head down to feet mesmerized me-- how come this boy have the courage to face life in spite of all the challenge brought by his illness. This cold rainy day was not good for him; still they decide to get out for his condition was peril already. When we get near to the hospital where he will be confined, the people who are in the same ride helped them to get down, everyone was giving them a hand, even myself can’t get rid not to help them. The boy was very brave, as he was passing in front of me; I think he already knew that I was looking at him so I was in a shame sit for I don’t want him to feel the opposite means to give the impression of being ‘nakakaawa’, what I want him to see is for him to fight and continue to live, for at young age he deserves a long and happy life. But then he doesn’t give me a cheerless impression to his face, what he leaves in me was a great smile.

After a 30 minutes ride, everything in me turns into compassion. 

• I can eat anytime, but I ignored my food unlike this little boy who can’t full his stomach for he only swallowed it and still trying to eat the food prepared by his mother.

• I can go to school anytime but due to the cold rain I feel lazy at some times, but this boy enlighten me to continue the ride no matter how far it is, on his condition no matter how hard the rain is, in order for him to survived and checks his condition he never gave up just to reach the hospital.

• I can speak and laugh, enjoy my companions, but I used to break the noise for I want to be in silence sometimes, but this child can’t speak and can’t laugh out loud for he is a deaf still he tried to break a person’s silence by giving a point of a smile on his face.

            You’ll never know how a child will inspired you; how God used this child as an instrument in me not to forget that I have all the blessings. I have a healthy life, loving family, great friends and could afford the things that I wanted by showing a wide hand on my parent’s pocket.

           I’m just feeling so lucky and so blessed. With this once in a lifetime experience, I want to share something for those who have read this incident of mine

            "You are seeking the meaning of your life, and instead of allowing it to come to you, you are scrambling about looking here and there for what is right before you. Be still. God will bring you all you need or want if you Let It Happen."

Being thankful, Getting Ready

            I can only hope for the best coming finals. I won’t ask for no fuzz and no worry finals but instead I'll ask for a worthwhile journey. Freshmen year was over and fooling around isn't my thing anymore. It's not that I'll go crazy being serious about stuffs but determination is my thing. I would like to thank the professors that I have met when I transferred here, my professors, for introducing it to my senses that the best things in life is achieved thru hard-work, perseverance and practice. I may not be that vocal to them about stuffs but this is the least thing I can do to show my gratitude. I dunno why I'm thanking people here but I’ll continue. I would also like to mention my friends that I have newly met here. Why? because their determination is viral. It's so nice to know some people who are so passionate about their career. 

            Thanks to my family for being always there for me, simply because we live at the same house ha-ha-ha J-O-K-E. I'm persevering and holding tight to my dreams because of them. And I guess it's substantial for me to include them here. And last but definitely not the least GOD. From birth up to now and 'til the end of time I know He is with me. I was able to battle it out through the toughest of toughest of days because of him and everything I do is for his Holy Name.

       This is a great Sunday! To be with God just before the class for the finals starts.

Learning clash

       Aren’t he bothered about his future, about what might happened f he’ll continue to ignore the importance of education. I am not saying this to down him, rather to make judgments instead I am saying this knowing that missing such opportunity to finish the studies seems losing the half part of your life, for we as person continues in learning.

        I don’t want to mention a name here, but honestly though I am not saying a word vocally even those who have known him before I, know who this person is. I'm terribly bothered seeing that person around. Seeing him sometimes dropping his classes, I can't help but be furious about how can he even manage to pay no heed to his subjects?

        I know I'm so harsh describing that person but lemme continue 'cause this is the only way I can express my disappointments not only from his parents but also for those who is expecting much for him, Don’t you think so?

      Behind all these I am still grateful that after all the downs I can still get through. What I am wishing for is him to see the picture of life with a good education.

         I asked God to guide me all throughout this semester and for the comings the same way that He has guided me before. And whenever I pray to Him I always tell Him that I won't ask Him anything but guidance because I know He already knows what I need. I'm going through something right now and I know God is guiding me. I'm asking a lot of people what to do but in reality God has already given me the answers. It's just for the fact that I'm afraid and reluctant to do it. 

The Intramurals Break Job

          Thanks to my good classmate Ychar, for sharing her nice smile and for each days of overwhelming welcome of my dear classmates, including Rhena, Yvette, Lyra, King all of them, the IT 4, I maybe new here yet it isn’t that hard to be with them. It’s really is a big break for me, too shallow to say but I really enjoyed from the mass, until the parade and as the first day of the Intramurals ends.

            The Cheer dance was enjoying and the traditional games followed was fun. I haven’t expected that some of those games were still new to my eyes. Even the teachers were so flexible in joining the events. I guess having some headship between the students and the teachers takes a good bond, like getting the pleasure of societal attachment.

       I was also able to bring home valuable knowledge that I have gathered this day and here are some of them. 

1.      Being at school may be the toughest thing right now, but having some fun once in a while will refresh your mind; 
2.    We must all study hard, challenge our limitations and be the best of who we can be while still in college. Formerly if you are involve in a sport, you must also apply those that you have learned inside and gain a sportsmanship; 
3.      We must all study hard for cash isn't earned easily. I commend my teachers for serving us sumptuous fun and enjoyment in this event for letting us be the person we owe to be. 
4. Save energy and stay happy; 
5.       Respect your colleagues as much as you want to be respected.

A little and quite exposure

           My friend asked me to take over in a segment regarding with the topic about Campus Beats, for the No Hold Barred that will be aired in TV Net Channel every second and fourth week of the month. Seems a little rewarding thing for me, in a way that not all people will experience such things, taking something new to your life can be said as a once a lifetime so grab if you know you’ll going to enjoy it.

          Sometimes it’s a little too awkward, why? ‘Cause every time I remember my failures when I was in my previous school I can help myself but to get traumatize, there’s an instance that I was covered with compassion of fear.

       Somehow I tried to hide it as I could, fighting it little by little might help me to improve more or maybe this will serve as my way to get even better. I was very nervous in our taping, the shots were taken at the cafeteria in DWCC, and not that bad I have taken the cuts for only three times. Hmmf it was really a hushed for one at a time a almost forgot my lines. Weew, I’m hoping for another fine report for the segment.

How can I move on?

       This is the hardest question that a person might answer yet in their life. As I was mentioning such statement, it is what seems to be owed by my classmate’s father catastrophe have come upon. At a very young age, father of Rowell Roy (my classmate supposed to be one of those who are good to me) died because of bangungot. Frankly speaking, I’m terribly bothered seeing that person around me was experiencing that, and was alluring himself into sadness (wherein I, couldn’t even really avoid it)

       The loss of a loved one is a devastating event for anyone but when the loss is unexpected the pain is beyond words. I know this, and I think everyone of us knows this, for anyone have experience loosing someone they loved, grandparents, parents, a brother and a sister, no one knows how much hurt it is losing them, until the only word that comes through your mind is the word pain

     But losing them doesn’t mean that everything else was appalling, and you don’t have to stay too long for that mourning, as I was finding some reasons to prove this, I have seen a verse which regards that situates this, and I wanted to share this for some important outlook it tells:

            As what the verse have said:

"Don't let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God, and trust also in me. There is more than enough room in my Father's home. If this were not so, would I have told you that I am going to prepare a place for you? When everything is ready, I will come and get you, so that you will always be with me where I am. And you know the way to where I am going." John 14:1 – 4”

          At this point I can only write on the surface and without detail but I want to share some Bible verses that have been and continue to be an encouragement for me in hopes that some other grieving person who have lost their love ones may be looking for the same comfort and assurance that I searched for in the day after remembering the lost of that one they love.

Snapshots in Christian Fellowship :)

before we arrive at Pambisan

waiting for the boat....the location is in the opposite island

here we go again, taking our cuties snaps

just having the wakky picz..whaevahhh :) 

Now I'm Done

After a long day yesterday, I feel like I was tired but still I have to finish all my house chores to be done. 

As I woke up I quickly clean the house, swept the floor and wash the dishes. It’s almost 9 in the morning and I am not still eating my breakfast. I wanted to finish first my basic chores. Then to fully organize my time, I prepared the clothes to be washing, then put it in the washing machine, as I was waiting for the timer, that was the time that I have taken my glass of coffee and pandesal. It is a daily routine in me whenever I have no school. I used to have my coffee before 10 in the morning. Afterwards, I will just wait for the buzzer, and then I’ll continue washing my clothes. It is weekly clothing, with the bed sheet and pillows cloth. It’s a kind of tiring actually. I finished at two in the afternoon. I never wasted my time, so I continue ironing my uniform, as well as my brother’s uniform and my parent’s clothes. Wooow my hand feels numb, but before I sit down, I get first my cloth I have just this morning to be folded. Then I laid on our long chair, I get sleep for an hour. When I wake up, I prepare the food, then again wash the dishes. And after finishing all the works until the dinner… I wrote my notes for ITSOCUL, I finished my writing at two in the morning and I was very tired as my hands were telling me to take a rest.

Christian Fellowship -with God?... Fun...fun...Fun!

with St. Anthony ICBF members
Pambisan, Baco, Or. Mindoro

I woke up and was prepared for my class for this day, and was not expecting that a great whole day would happen to me…. Welcome Lord, for this day we’ve met again.

I’m not the religious type of person, yet I get melt whenever such moments come in into my life. This is not the first where I have joined fellowship, I was having the same activity when I was just 17 to 18, but due to some consequences my sigh blew me, until I find the hobby as a writer in gazette and an officer in ROTC when I was still in divine, though I was attending a mass, I wasn’t able to attend it regularly. I thought I’ll never do the same way again, but then I find my new classmates here in SAC and being one of the new members of this fellowship was so amazing.

After having a stressful day for school, you could easily relax yourself by listening and knowing the word of God. I am not that so good, but I do understand the peace it brings in me. This is my third session, and we are having our fellowship gathering at the Pambisan Baco. I’ve met some of the Pastors there, there are lots of activities made, and those who came to talks came from Singapore. We were divided into two groups; those who were assigned to our group are Sister Onah, with her husband brother Lim, and an Indian Pastor name Pastor Prasadh together with a Filipino Pastor, Brother Gener.

That day was full of surprise. We are with the other students from different school. Just before we came to the resort, we were drove in a motor boat. It was not my first to ride on it, but the adventure and unwind joy brought by this split second of the day was remarkable!

Layas-bahay

Sa loob ng dalawampu’t isang taon, isa sa pinakaseryosong karanasan na di ko malilimutan ay noong naglayas ako ng bahay.

December 2005, Fourth year high school, 16 year old pa lamang ako, inaamin ko naging makitid ang isip ko sa maraming bagay. Hindi ko maintindihan kung saan nagsimula lahat ng dahilan para umabot ako sa ganun, pero sa naaalala ko nasa stage pa lang ako ng “ denial and acceptance “. Nag’’iisa akong babae sa magkakapatid…bunso… naging bunso noong di pa pinapanganak si totoy (sya na ang bunso namin ngayun). Twelve years ang pagitan naming dalawa. Nasanay ako na buo ang atensyon na binibigay sa’kin ng parents ko, lalo na ang tatay ko. Daddy’s girl siguro ang tawag dun, pero ayoko naman isipin na ganun talaga ako. Well? Nasa denial ako dahil sinasabi ng isip ko na iba pa rin ang bunso sa nag’’iisang babae…acceptance naman dahil dapat kong tanggapin na malaki na ako at napakababaw lang na dahilan yun.

Nasundan pa yun noong malimutan nila ang birthday ko, December 3, the same year kung kelan yun nangyari. Excited akong gumising noong umaga kasi nga “it’s my day”, pero natapos ang buong araw na di nila ako nabati, di ko alam kung sinadya ba o dala ng pagka’’busy nila…ang ulam pa namin sa hapunan ay bagoong at isda. Hindi naman sa nag’’iinarte ako sa ulam, aminin man na’’ten o hindi naghahanap din tayo ng something na masarap sa birthday di ba?. Naging ok pa ako pagkatapos ng araw na iyon. Pero… after a week, medyo na’’late ako ng uwi galing sa school inabot ako ng sermon ng tatay ko. Na’’sermonan ako hindi dahil sa curfew hour, rather dahil ng bunso namin. May inuutos sa akin noon si tatay, para yun kay totoy,kasi may gusto sya pero tinatamad naman sya na kunin yun, siguro wala pang 5 minutes bago nya yun nasabi…agad nang napagalitan ako. Mali ako kung sa hindi kaagad pag’response, kaya lang nagpapalit pa lang ako ng damit noon, tapos parang over naman na pagalitan ako ng sobra to the point na maghagis sya ng unan sa’’kin.( hagis na di naman pinatamaan, parang wala lang talaga yung bato). Since hindi naman ako sanay na ganun ang treatment, si tatay pa ang gumawa, sobrang nagtampo ako noon. Wala akong makausap at mapaglabasan ng hinanakit. Iba kasi ang sermon ng nanay kumpara sa tatay di ba?

Kahit kasama ko pa sa bahay ang kuya ko (pangalawa), hindi ko nagawang mag’’share sa kanya, mas malapit ako sa panaganay kong kapatid.

Sa parehong araw kung kailan ako napagalitan ng tatay ko, biglang pumasok sa isip ko na mag’impake, napatingin ako noon sa cabinet ko. Ilang oras pa ini’impake ko lahat ng damit ko. Bukod ang bag para sa damit, shorts, garments, pants, mga sapatos at kahit uniform ko isinama ko na sa bagahe. May kaunting pride ako noon, naisip ko kasi ang mga napapanood ko sa tv na mga naglalayas, bumabalik talaga sila. Kaya ako… nag’desisyon ako na ito ang pinili ko kaya dapat panindigan ko kahit mali ang pamamaraan ko. Gumawa muna ako ng plano kung paano makakaalis ng bahay at kung saan ako makuha ng pera para makapag’’byahe ako sa malayo… (nagamit kong pera ay ang ipon namin ng kuya ko 1k yun), nang magawa ko yun nilakasan ko ang loob ko. Mas pinili kong iwan ang cellphone ko sa bahay, pero dala ko ang simcard. Mag’’isa akong naglakad sa daan kalagitnaan noon ng gabi, ang huling tingin ko sa orasan ng umalis ako ng bahay ay alas dose. Blangko ang isip ko noon, di ko alam kung saan ako pupunta. Pero isa sa mga plano ko ay ang hindi pag’’stay sa Mindoro. Para ano pa ang paglayas kung sa malapit di ba? Higit limang kilometro na ‘’ata ang nalakad ko. Bawat madaanan ko at may nagkikita sa akin na tao tinanong nila kung saan ako pupunta. Siguro nagtataka sila sa dami ng dala kong bag, iba pa sa likod sa magkabilang braso at bitbit sa kamay. May napadaan na tricycle, sinubukan ko magtago kasi parang tricycle yun ng tatay ko, pero iba pala, ipinagpatuloy ko ulit. Ilang oras pa may tumigil na tricycle sabi nya bakit mag’’isa ako, wala akong naisagot tapos sabay sinundan nya ng salita kung mapunta ba daw ako ng pier. Napa’’oo na lang ako, sinagot ko sya na wala akong masakyan kaya naglakad’lakad na muna ako. Di ako mapaghinala sa tao ng mga oras na yun, kaya nakisakay na ako. Tapos nagka’’kwentuhan kami habang nasa daan. Hindi ko sinabi ng totoong pangalan ko, pero nasabi ko sa kanya ang tungkol sa paglalayas ko. Naawa sya sa akin, sabi nya pupunta sya ng pulis para mag’report… ang sabi ko naman tsaka na lang nya yun gawin pag nakakaalis na ako. Sinunod naman nya yun, at nang nasa pier na hindi na nya ako pinagbayad. Binigyan pa nya ako ng 50 para daw sa pagkain. Kinuha na din nya cellphone number ko para maitext nya ako kung ano na ba ang nangyare sa’kin. Kaya lang wala naman akong cellphone. Nagpasalamat ako sa ginawa nya, kahit paano may mababait na tao pa rin talaga sa mundo.

Nang nasa barko na ako. May pasahero din ako na nakausap. Gusto nya akong isama sa Iloilo. Babae iyon nalaman nya nangyari sa akin at gusto nya akong ampunin. Dahil sa ayoko, tumanggi ako. Wala na talaga ako maisip na puntahan pa, pero di dapat ako basta madala sa mga ganoon. Nang nasa kalagitnaan kami ng byahe may dumais na lalaki sa’kin, napansin nya daw kasi ang gamit na dala ko, at sa edad ko ng mga panahon na yun imposible naman ‘atah na payagan ako ng magulang ko na mag’byahe sa dis’oras ng gabi. At tulad ng nauna kong mga nakilala nalaman nya din ang totoo, inalok nya akong mag’noodles…nagugutom ako ng time na yun kaya hindi na ako nakatanngi. Habang nagku’kwentuhan kami, nalaman ko na sya pala ang kapitan ng barko. Sa dinami’dami ng makakausap ko, talagang sya pa ang nakilala ko. Nang makadaong na kami, sinabihan nya ako na mag’ingat. Tumambay muna ako sa pier ng Batangas, di ko kasi alam kung saan ako pupunta. Nang makalingat ako, nakasabay ko pala sa byahe ang taga’sa amin. Napansin nya ako, kaya nagtago ako at tumakas, basta na lang ako sumakay ng jeep, sakto naman na papunta ito ng bayan. Nag’desisyon ako na pumuntang Bicol. Sabi nga nila, ang pinaka’safe na puntahan ay kapamilya mo din. Nagdalawang isip pa ako noon na pumunta ng Maynila, kaya lang alam ko naman na di ko pa kayang mamuhay mag’isa sa ganun kalaking lugar. Sobrang bata pa ako noon at baka mapahamak lang ako. Gusto ko rin magpatuloy ng pag’aaral, sigurado naman ako na pag’’aaralin ako ng tiya ko (kapatid sya ng nanay ko)

Sakay ako ng bus diretsong Bicol. Medyo maliwanag na din noon. Iniisip ko na, di na ako pwedeng bumalik pa. Maraming tanong sa isip ko. Tulad ng : alam na kaya nila na umalis ako ng bahay? Ano kaya iisipin ng family na pupuntahan ko ngayun? Masama kaya ang iisipin ng mga tao sa parents ko dahil sa paglayas ko? At ang huling tanong sa isip ko. May kahihinatnan ba ang paglalayas ko?

Sobrang blangko ang isip ko noon. Hindi ko nga napansin na kinakausap na pala ako ng katabi ko. Siguro medyo magkalapit lang kami ng edad. Byaheng Camarines Norte sya, ako naman byaheng Camarines Sur. Isa pang gumugulo sa isip ko ay kung saan ako mababa. Elementary pa lang ako nang huli kami pumunta sa Bicol at baka maligaw ako. Inisip ko na lang ang lahat ng lugar na nadaanan namin noong huling punta na’min.

Sa awa ng diyos nakarating ako ng safe. Maraming nagulat sa pagdating ko. Nagpunta dun ang lolo ko. Lahat ng tito ko. Andun din ang paborito kong tito na sobrang naghinanakit sa ginawa ko, di daw yun maganda. Naiyak lang ako sa harapan nila. Nalaman lang nina nanay at tatay na nasa Bicol na ako noong tinawagan sila ng mga pinsan ko.

Lahat sila napatahimik. Sobrang nasaktan ko ang maga magulang ko, ga’’nun din ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Hindi ako makakain ng ayos sa bahay ng tita ko, kasi parang isang kaban ng bigas ang sakit na nararamdaman ko. Kinausap nila akong lahat, kahit ang lolo ko natatawa sa ginawa ko. Naging tingin nila sa’kin ay spoiled kahit hindi naman talaga. Sabi ko na lang sa kanila na ayokong bumalik ng bahay. Kaya sa pangatlong araw ko doon, ay ini’’enroll agad nila ako at pinasukatan na ng uniform para daw hindi ako mahuli sa klase. Pero di ko alam na lagi pala magkausap sa telepono ang parents ako ang tita ko. Mabait ang tita ko, pero sinabi ng tatay ko na kung di ako ibabalik, magkakagulo daw.

Nang kausapin ako ng lolo at ng mga Tito’Tita…sabi ko ayaw kong bumalik ng bahay. Natatakot ako, dahil hindi ko alam kung paano magsisimula.Ilang araw pa tumawag na ang panganay kong kapatid, napasok pa sya noon ng kolehiyo sa Batangas, sabi nya sa’kin susunduin nya daw ako pag hindi ako umuwi.

Tahimik lang ako sa loob ng mga araw na nasa bahay ako ng pinsan ko. Nag’usap-usap sila na palihim, at para sa ikabubuti ng lahat, ang mas mabuting gawin ay umuwi ako ng bahay. Pero para pumayag akong umuwi, dapat kasama ko pa’Mindoro ang Tito at Tita ko (kapatid sila ng nanay ko). Kinausap muna ni lolo ang parents ko sa telepono, matapos nun lumuwas na kami pauwi.

Maraming mga matang nakatingin nang umuwi ako ng bahay, pumunta lahat ng pinsan ko at kung sino-sinong kaibigan. Abot ang tawag sa cellphone at bisita sa bahay. Di nila akalain na magagawa ko yun. Mabuti na lamang daw hindi ako napahamak. Naiyak ang parents ko, pero para hindi ko yun makita nagkulong muna ako ng kwarto, pumunta ang pinsan ko sa kwarto at tinanong lahat ng nangyari. Sabi nya sa akin wag ko daw yun uulitin, kung may problema man ako, matuto daw akong magsabi. Sa kanila na lang ako pumunta pag napapagalitan ako. Pinigil ko ang luha ko that time. Sobrang nanghihina ako sa pagod physically and emotionally.

Ito ang isa sa karanasan na di ko malilimutan. Maraming tao ang nadamay. Hindi pa nga yan kompleto, mahirap i’ collaborate lahat ng nangyari. Pero nang nasa bahay na ako, almost a month bago umuwi ang tito at tita ko sa Bicol, madalas silang magkakausap nina nanay at tatay. Mula noon, pag bagong gising sila sa umaga iche'check muna nila ang kwarto ko para malaman kung hindi ba ako umaalis Nakakatawa dahil hanggang ngayun ginagawa pa rin nila yun at pag napapagalitan ako medyo nag’ko’control na sila, parang reminders na lang ang nangayayari. Pero syempre yung respect ko sa kanila hindi nawawala.

Nahirapan ako ibalik ang bond na’men, pero maganda naman ang naging result. Nagkaron kami ng closeness. Totoo ang sayings na after ng hardships sa family nyo, chaka lamang nabubuo ang deep closeness dahil naa’appreciate nyo ang presence nyo sa isa’t-isa.

Salamat sa pagbasa.